She said her name was "party"
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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