That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
