beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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