I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
