but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize