Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the day after is always just damage control
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
