oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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