the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
