The maid of honor just puked.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize