She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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