We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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