Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
