some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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