can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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