Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize