C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
