My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
