so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
being pregnant is like rehab
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize