I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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