I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
