dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
are you so shy because you have an std?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
