I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Randomize
