You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
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