Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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