His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
