I must be too annoying 4 u.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Randomize