if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
