If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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