I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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