I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
