I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
