Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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