Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
