i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
