the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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