Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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