The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He keeps bees of course he's weird
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
