Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
