she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize