We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
