I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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