Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize