R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
