dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
