yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
they need to just BURY HIM!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
