I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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