Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
