it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
