I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
