once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
