I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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