I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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