You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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