Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Randomize
