He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize