somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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