I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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