Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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