Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
