I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
