Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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