Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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