I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
