How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
