come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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