She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
