You're completely useless in the revolution.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
