Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
