I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
