youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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