you traded sex for a burrito?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
