she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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