hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
