i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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